Little Miss Avenger
by Parker-Star
Summary: When Natasha gets badly injured in battle it’s a shock to the avengers team that she’s even alive the next day. This brings up some questions about The Black Widows past the team are determined to get answered. Contains Language and Blood so i rated it M to be sure.
1. 22nd November

**Hiya! This is my first ever Avengers fic, and I thought I may aswell do it about my fave MCU character. I'm open to any suggestions or critism you may have to please leave a comment! Also to note that I don't have much knowledge on Black Widows backstory so not everything will be correct but I did some research! Hope you enjoy!**

 **Parker**

'Natasha, do you have eyes on the target?' Clint asked with noticeable agitated tone.

'No, give me a minute... you do realise these guys would be gone a lot quicker if Stark wasn't show boating to the people, Rogers didn't get lost and find his own guys to handle and if Banner actually decided to leave the ship'

Punches and grunts were heard over comms until Tony and Steve broke the silence, not too pleased about Widows previous remarks.

'Woah there, it's no showboating it's called a distraction'

'I didn't get lost I just took a wrong turn because I saw some people that didn't look like they were exactly on our team'

She knew today was going to be a struggle, it's the 22nd November, what did she expect! Every year since she was born the date seemed to be cursed and things were bond to go wrong, wether it was failing a test or being shot in the stomach the 22nd November was an unlucky day. It didn't help that the date coincided with Natasha's birthday and the day she started and finished her red room training.

Now she's actually stuck only a few miles away from her dreaded past as The Avengers were assembled to take on a mission in Sokovia where a spy had trapped and killed hundreds of civilians as-well as perform cruel torture acts with what S.H.I.E.L.D. seems to think is some alien technology. However all Natasha could think about was how close the Red Room was, how close could she come to her past without breaking? Or without her team knowing and being able to help?

She liked her team, for some reason she felt at home with them all, but what would they think when they find she isn't really who she says she is. The haunting images briefly filled her head until she caught sight of the target, a blonde headed, russian spy, sporting a black leather jacket and a small Glock pistol.

'Fuck targets headed north into the building, she's armed. Gonna head in there, hawkeye you got my back?'

Through the comms she could hear the upset sigh of Steve.

'Got you covered Nat, and you know how upset Rogers gets when you swear.'

Laughing, she apologised and headed into the building.

Trusty pistol in hand, Natasha crept through the building viewing every small spot, door or room there was. It was cold. Very cold. Something she should be used to but Nat found herself feeling so uncomfortable when faced with a cold breeze.

'Where the fuck is she' she thought, getting closer to annoyance as the building only seemed to be getting larger by the minute. Brick wall by boring brick wall passed until the final room emerged from a dark, damp corridor and at its sight Nats heart rate shot up.

The door was red. Blood red. The words 'Natalia Romonova: Super Spy' (in Russian) were written in large, white letters which almost covered its dark red background. She should call for backup, she should leave but damn would she risk putting her team, no her friends, in danger.

'I've become soft' she giggled to herself, and she eased her way to the door. Firstly she switched off her comms, secondly she checked her loaded pistol, lastly she entered the room.

Apart from some small windows, it was nearly pitch black. From what she could make out, there was a figure (who Nat assumed was her target) sat with her feet up at this small desk. The bitch looked relaxed for a Thursday.

'Natalia! Long time no see! How is my favourite Spy?'

Instantly she knew that voice, the menacing tone, contrasted to the purr of the pitch all led up too one person.

'Anna. Anna Vankolvia. God what has it been a good 60 years? You're looking good from what I can see. Which isn't a lot'

'Awww always the funny one weren't you, you stole my life from me. Always the best, always the one who passed everything. Well surprise! Because it's time to loose. You could die, or you could watch you're friends die? Cold hearted Natalia would happily save her own life, but what would Little Miss Avenger do?'

Why'd it have to be the 22nd November?

TBC


	2. Goodbye friend

I **tried okay?! This isn't the best chapter I've ever wrote mainly because I wanted to get on with my main avengers story line. Warning that this chapter contains violence and blood.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Parker**

'Clint what's the word with Romanoff? People really starting to pile up here. We could really do with the target!' Steve asked, agitation sprang from every word as he was fed up of fighting. However a part of him was worried about Natasha, radio silence was still in place but even a word or grunt down comms was expected, and seeing as it had been well over 10 minutes he could feel something had gone wrong.

'Nothing Steve, it's a big building though and you know how Nat stays on radio silence until contact. Give it another 5 minutes and I'll head in'

'I could go check in, I don't like the atmosphere' Tony pitched in, he was also worried then a idea came to him.

'Banner! You there?'

'Woahh yeah yeah, what's up?' Bruce had just been asleep, so hadn't actually registered what commotions had happened whilst in his slumber.

'I need you to get some thermal imagining of the building, look for 2 people inside. Then if something goes down we know'

'On it'

As Bruce tapped away at the keyboard, he eventually gained an imagine of 2 people, stood inches away from each other, talking.

'Well, Stark they seem to just be talking'

'What?'

'Well Anna, shall we talk or get on with it?'

'Awww Natalia how I've missed you, why don't we talk? You're not in a rush are you?' Sarcasm bounced of her voice like a trampoline, if Nat wasn't annoyed before she definitely was now.

'No I'm not but sooner or later my friends are going to figure somethings up.'

'Friends are they now? You've become soft! What happened to your training? Did you forget or have you pushed those memories so far behind you than you can see them? You can't run forever Natalia'

A chill ran up Natasha's spine, is there was one thing that could defeat her it was her past.

Gangs, Russians and even aliens were no match for the effect and dread that the mere mention of the Red Room has on her. Just thinking about it paralysed her and Anna knew this, because Anna was her best friend. Until she failed. And Failing meant punishment and punishment meant pain.

The first thing she was taught, was to look after herself and only herself, don't make ties, friends make you a fool. So when Nat started to become top of class it was no question that Anna would constantly follow a close second to her best friend, and in the red room second wasn't good enough. Tortured day and night Anna would scream her way through her 13th, 14th and 15th birthday and Nat couldn't do anything about it.

'After you became 'the best assassin ever known' I was forced into HYDRA, they had no use for me except for a lab rat. A fucking lab rat Natalia. I spent years and years of my life training and because of you, years and years of my life we're spent being tortured and tested on.'

Nat's face dropped. Being tortured by the red room was difficult enough, but HYDRA? Well, that was a whole new level. Nat only spent a few years with HYDRA until she became a payed assassin but the years she stayed she didn't enjoy. She stared at Anna, hidden in the shadows. Just like old days.

'I'm so sorry, I genuinely am. But I don't understand why you're here? Am I supposed to turn back time and stop being good?'

'Hahaha, no. You see when I was being tested on by HYDRA, one thing they tried out was a drug that could make you invincible and powerful. And it actually worked, but then a base got blown up where the drug was being manufactured and everyone who knew it's secret died. And you know what's even better? I was the only one who was given it! So Natalia Romanoff, you ready to meet your match?'

Heart rate raised, hands at the ready position, Natasha knew there was only one way to end this.

'I was born ready'

The first thing that happened was that Anna lunged at Natasha, even though she had a small body her weight pushed Romanoff over like she was a paper clip. Punch after punch was thrown in Natasha's stomach, forcing the wind out of her lungs. Gaining the upper hand she pulled out her gun and took a shot at Anna. Nothing happened, the bullet hit but she just stood there laughing and unfazed, what bought Nat back to reality was the sound of the gun clattering to the floor. Punches were thrown, kicks were blocked and it wasn't until Anna pulled out a knife that Natasha really started to worry. Anna was making her way over to the door, and inevitably locked it. There was no escape for the black widow now.

'It's kill or be killed then is it? What makes you think that you can win even with your enhancements. You know it takes a lot to kill 'little miss avenger'. Heavily breathing she took out her knife and prepared to die. It wasn't the best strategy she's ever had but she knew that for any normal person they would be dead by now. Charging at Anna knife in one hand, she kicked and struggled trying to cut her former friend, she soldiered on until she realised that the cuts that should have appeared didn't. Her skin seemed to be impenetrable.

Think, think, think! Another way to kill someone? Ahhh that's it!

Running on adrenaline, Natasha jumped from the desk onto the shoulders of the small figure and pulled out a wire from her sleeve. Using the same move as she did on Bucky but pulling with all the amount of strength and will she had. It started to work until her leg started to tingle and she felt a burning sensation coming from her thigh. This didn't matter tho, as Anna fell face first to the floor.

'Aww dammit my new suite as-well!' Natasha cursed out-loud looking at the small pool of blood forming from her leg. It was nothing that couldn't be fixed by a bandage.

Turning round to inspect the desk in which Anna was sat on was a mistake and as soon as her head moved away Anna grabbed Natasha's fallen gun.

'Hey Natalia?'

At the sound of the voice Nat turned and faced 3 incoming bullets. Due to the speed of the bullets and the reaction Time she had her chance of missing one was very low, but still she jumped. As the bullets hit her body, she was pushed backwards by the sheer force of the shot. One bullet was lodged in her shoulder, the other her stomach, the other her lung.

Menacingly, Anna approached the worlds greatest assassin and presented a knife to Widows face.

'Let's start with that lovely face shall we?'

She started by cutting her hair, then her cheek, her body was exposed and then slashed, her legs and even feet felt the wrath of an angry Russian with a knife. Blood poured out of every known place and the pain Natasha was in was the worst she's ever felt.

'Goodbye my friend' Anna whispered.


	3. Slap on the knee

**Thank you for all the reviews and follows!**

 **Sorry this took so long, College work is stressing me out and my motivation hit an all time low. Spot my wonderful hint to a black widow movie that I pray one day will happen!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Parker**

'I hear a shot! I'm going in!' Clint shouted.

'Target leaving out of the north end exit, better get there soon.' Still looking at both heat signatures on the screen, one was Natasha lying on the floor, the other was the target escaping. God how he wished he could leave and help but if he turned the big guy would attract so much unwanted attention.

The whole team stood on edge as they fought against enemy's they didn't even care about. Carelessly Cap was knocking out soldier after soldier whilst Tony was scouring the exits trying to find the bitch that hurt his team mate. It was scary thinking that he could loose Nat or anyone on the avengers since they had all become so close.

As Clint walked to the red door he scoured his brain for some Russian knowledge, trying to find out what the words on this door said. He managed to make out 'Natalia Romanova' which instantly made his heart rate fly up due to the fact that he knew Nats past and he knew she was always in danger. Rushing in the room, he saw a small figure pushed against a wall, blood seeping out of everywhere.

'Oh shit Nat. Nat can you hear me?' Gently shaking her shoulders for response, Clint assessed her injuries. Small cuts ripped her skin in every corner of her body, her hair was unevenly cut shorter than it already was and she had 3 bullet holes covering her torso. Overall it's the worst he's ever seen Natasha, her face was written with pain and even with her past background it would be a stretch if she survived. Quickly he added pressure and updated Stark on the fact that they needed a medic ASAP.

Natasha mumbled out sentences which were a mixture of Russian and English so Clint actually struggled translating but from what he could make out she mentioned her past and the red room, she even mentioned caps name resulting in a shot of hurt which spilled through him.

The pain was excruciating for Romanoff, every inch of her body felt like she was being stabbed with a needle, her high pain threshold was certainly no use right now. Memories flashed before her eyes, thoughts of her childhood, her family, her time in Russia all darted through her mind, it was like being at the cinema but the movie was her life. 'A Black Widow movie, huh? Someone should look into that' she thought.

'Come on Nat, I know your conserving energy and all but please give me a sign'

And with that she weakly slapped him on the knee; a gesture she's done after every mission. It was Natasha's way of saying 'you weren't actually that bad'.

Minutes later Tony Stark flew threw the door with Bruce, Steve and an assigned S.H.I.E.L.D medic. Everyone in the room stood in shock at the sight of such a brave and person looking so weak and fragile. Instantly everyone took the family role as they frantically fussed over Natasha and helped the medic do a quicker job.

'She's lost a whole lot of blood, I actually don't know how she's alive right now, but we need to get her to a hospital quick.'

Subconsciously Natasha shouted 'NO' but she could seem to make out the words so instead she aggressively shook her head, hoping for a response but nothing happened.

'It's going to be okay Miss Romanoff I promise'

Clint knew of her hatred for hospitals he knew that there would be questions about her life, background and health and out of all the bad things that could happen to Nat Clint knew that nothing would compare to her past. As she was wheeled out the whole room stood in silence. Stark spoke first.

'You've got explaining to do Barton.'

'What do you mean?'

'A: How the hell is Widow not dead and B: who the hell is Natalia Romonova?'

'Ohhhh shit'


	4. Waiting Room

**I'm so so so so sorry this chapter took so long, and it's not the best but I promise to kind of keep updated with this story! Ive had college work and no motivation at all to do anything... main ship in this is NatxSteve. Thank you so much for the follows and favourites! Enjoy**

 **Parker**

Tick tick tick tick

Was it hours or minutes or even seconds that passed? Honestly Cap couldn't tell. In his mind he knew that Natasha should have been dead, the amount of blood she lost was unreal however she was alive apparently and in the doctors words 'she'll be up and kicking in no time'. He couldn't bring himself to say it but he really did like Natasha and not even in a friend way, ever since he saw her bright red hair he knew she was special, fighting Bucky together was the real bonding of their relationship but nothing was said more about the kiss or the past lovers. She was so special to him so the mere thought of her lying in a cold room being sliced like a piece of meat made his blood boil. But she was alive. That's all that mattered to him. She was alive

Tick tick tick tick

Factors of blood loss multiplied with her figure didn't add up and Tony knew this. He'd run background checks on Natasha when the avengers first started but her records were super super secret and encrypted. Obviously that was no task for him but the process would take a couple of days and he wasn't willing to get on the bad side of a trained assassin. Barton had refused to say anything about the red head, in fact he hadn't spoken since he left the building which unknowingly hinted to Tony that he was hiding something. He loved Natasha, she was like a little, lethal sister and the thought of her being hurt angered him greatly. More to the point he knew how much Cap had feelings for her and as he quickly glanced to see the large man his face was written with worry. He was glad she was alive, but how. How the hell did she survive?!

Tick tick tick tick

'Shit shit shit shit shit shit. Goddamn it Natasha they are asking me questions and I don't even know the answers to most of them. I told you to tell them about your past but no, you wouldn't have it! And now Tony is looking at me like I've got something to hide… maybe because I do! For god sake Nat why can't you be more open with people.

Tick Tick Tick Tick

Clint rubbed his hand through his hard gel hair and tried to establish what had happened in the past 5 hours. Thor had gone to finish up the scene and Banner wouldn't come in. Apparently the bloke doesn't like hospitals… weird. It worried Clint because he knew a lot about Natasha, he thought he new everything but still after all these years he gets surprised by her likes and dislikes and her little habits. Things like how she loves musicals and musical theatre (god help him if he ever told anyone) and how she hated unnatural coloured foods like blue mms. Little things that shock him and humour him at the same time was what he loved and hated about Natasha so when Tony comes striding up to his seat and parks his rear right next to him, not saying a word, he worried about what he should say.

'So whats the deal?'

'What do you mean?' Clint used the most straight tone he could use, trying not to give any information away.

'What I mean is that we have a teammate in intensive care with gunshot wounds and stab wounds after being in a dark Russian room with god knows who, and when we find her there Russian words which translate to a name very similar to Natashas on. I aint grilling you Barton I'm just worried, what if this psychopathic bitch comes back for desert?'

'Tony, I honestly don't know whoever did this, Nat has had a shit past so god knows who it could be'

'Now you see thats the thing, no one knows who she is, except you'

Tonys voice seemed so angered and upset it shocked Clint to hear it, even Steve over the side of the waiting room watched impatiently as the 2 talked about Natasha.

'I dont know much about her past, all I know is that she's Russian and was trained by the KGB using a knock of super soldier serum. I was sent to kill her and I didn't, and here we are'

'Here we are indeed'

A small nurse walked into the waiting room with a clip board, at the sight of her all 3 avengers stood up.

'Miss Romanoff is ready for visitors, she isn't awake at the moment but give her time to heal, she eating up most the drugs that should last her for days!'

And with that the 3 large men paced up to her room, hopefully for some answers.


	5. Hospitals are so fun?

**Again so sorry that this is late, again I've had no motivation ! Next chapter will be from nats point of view as she can hear a lot! Thanks for reading! :)**

Clint barged in first, he'd been in this situation many different times however he doesn't know if she has ever been that bad before. Then was Tony, worry was etched on his face as he walked in to the sound of beeping and machines. Next was Steve, he stood outside the window glaring through the blinds building up the courage to go into the room. Poor Natasha had never looked so small and weak, she was covered in wires and needles and machines were running in the background. It was crazy to think that this was the woman he loved, he wanted to just take her place and stop the pain. As he stood there he recalled the conversations in the waiting room, she was injected with a super soldier serum, and for some reason he kind of felt responsible, without him becoming Captain America Nat would have a normal life, she would have became a teacher or a doctor or even musician (he knew how much she liked to sing in the shower and if he ever told anyone she would probably kill him). Cap worried about how little he knew about her, he knew Stark really hated the fact he knew nothing about Nat, he didn't know what Banner knew but his face always looked puzzled when her past was caught up and well Barton knew some things but not as much as he would like too.

Cap walked into the hospital room, the first thing he noticed was the beeping, the consistency of the beeps acted as a safeguard as he knew Nat was still alive, secondly he saw the amount of damage that was done to her. Her face was etched with multiple small cuts and her flowing red hair was unevenly cut and it actually made his stomach turn and backflip to think how much pain she was in, tubes and machines were hooked to every bit of skin showing, they seemed to be either pumping her full of blood or drugs which he knew Natasha would hate as he kept scanning Natashas body a young doctor walked in, behind him the small nurse that allowed them to enter followed the doctor in.

'Well… you come for the party or what?' Tony commented, he looked so stressed and angered that it shocked the young lad and he looked quiet stuck for words.

'Oh erm well, Miss Romanoff has had a struggles greatly since she came in, drugs were not seeming to be affective in her and she did seem to be in a lot of pain, she had 3 bullets lodged in her torso and one has ripped her lung. We believe the knife used to make the cuts was laced with a type of poison which did mean she had some visions and fits whilst we were operating. We did loose her a couple of times on the table but hopefully she will make a full recovery as long as she doesn't do much moving and rests a lot. Its a shame this happened on her birthday.' With that the Doctor checked her vitals and began to walk out. At the mention of her birthday everyone who stood in that room turned around.

'Wait, what did you say?' Questioned Steve?

The doctor stopped as he was walking out, 'Which part do you mean Mr Rogers?'

'You said it was her birthday?'

'Well yes, 22nd of November, on file for Miss Natasha Romanoff, no year of birth which is funny but yeah its her birthday? Didn't you know?'

Everyones heart dropped, how did they not know it was her birthday? They had known her and worked with her for such a long time and it only came to them now that they has never once celebrated her birthday, in all honesty they didn't even know how old she was. An awkward silence fell over the room as everyone turned to Clint, he has sat down in a seat next to Nat's bed with his hand in his face.

'She's my best friend and I didn't even know her birthday, I can't deal with this' Clint walked out the room, clearly upset and Bruce followed, probably to go and help.

'Im fed up of this.' Exclaimed Tony.

'Fed up of what?'

'We know nothing about her, she's a brilliant, amazing, talented spy and a really good friend but we didn't even know her birthday, we don't know how old she is, she's Russian and is enhanced using a super spy serum but thats it, who were her enemies? what did she do in Russia? I just don't know how we can work with her when we know nothing about her.'

'For god sake does it matter? All that matters is that she pulls through and that the idiot that did this to her gets put away. If you care so much go and do something resourceful, leave Tony.'

Steve was so angered by Tony, yes it was annoying to know nothing about the woman but all that mattered really was the fact that she was getting better. Steve walked over to the chair which Clint sat in and took Natasha's hand.

'I honestly don't care what happened in your past, all that matters to me is that you come out of this well and still you.'

So there he sat, hours upon hours as the Nurse came and checked her vitals and refilled her IV bag, on some occasions he chatted with her and found out she was actually a really nice girl but eventually he fell asleep holding Natasha's hand.

When he woke, Natasha's face was white as a sheet and covered in sweat, even though her eyes were closed she seemed to be sitting up and mumbling words of Russian. Quickly, Steve manoeuvred where he could close to her face and try to wake her up.

'Hey Nat, it me Steve, you really could do with waking up.'

Natasha grabbed his shirt, eyes still closed, and frantically mumbled more Russian into his ears. From what he could make out she had mention the words 'красный' which meant red and 'комната' which meant room from what Steve remembered and she also mentioned the name 'Anna' which made no sense but he knew she was trying to tell her something. Nat let go of his shirt and started shaking, 'no no this is bad, this is really bad' Steve kept thinking, he kept pushing the help button but nothing was happening. Slowly Natasha was deteriorating, her breathing was becoming more erratic as she rocked up and down and up and down the bed.

'Natasha please, NATASHA.' Steve shouted, not liking the fact that he had to raise his voice to someone who needed help however it did calm her. Between all her Russian slurs words like Steve and Avengers were coming out and her rocking was calming down, still something wasn't up and no doctor nor nurse was insight. Not wanting to leave Natasha but fearing for her well being he left on the search for a doctor, he passed the kind nurse and told her the problem and she rushed straight in the room and instructed Steve to go and find the doctor, as he did he explained Nat symptoms and they ran to the hospital room where the nurse was no where to be found. Immediately the Doctor started to examine Natasha and inject her with drugs and remedies which seemed to calm her down.

'I don't know what happened but I've injected her with some very strong painkillers and ill take some bloods to send off to be tested. Her temperature is very high at the moment so she may become delusional but hopefully she will be awake sooner than expected'

'Wait, the nurse with the brown hair came in here a minute ago, she told me to get you?'

'I don't know let me put a call through'

He went to the desk and called for a Nurse Anna and then the penny dropped.

'Wait Nurse who?' Steve inquired

'Oh Nurse Anna, she arrived about 4 weeks ago, is there something the matter Mr Rogers?'

'Oh crap'


	6. The Pain Comes And Goes

**Aha finally a new chapter! This is a tad longer and do note that not everything is factual and stuck to the comics. So sorry this took so long but i feel like my assignments need to come first. Enjoy and please leave a review of anything you'd like to see in the next chapter (Which will hopefully be about Nat and the avengers being friends and being caring.**

 **Enjoy guys! Parker :)**

It was like she was awake but not awake, Natasha could hear everything happening in her surroundings, even at this moment she could hear a continuous beep which was muffled by the sound of Tony and Steve talking about something. The first thing her mind wandered to was how much pain she was in; every single cell in her body continuously ached and throbbed, numbness was overriding her body and as it happened a sense of pins and needles started creeping up. What had happened? Natasha dug through her memories but it felt like there was a wall blocking her mind, she could hear chatting around her but all she could think about for some reason was Steve and her friends. It was weird to call them friends, she had never had friends nor anyone to trust and then with Steve, that was completely weird to actually have feelings for someone who probably doesn't even like her back. To Natasha everyone had their own maternal role in her life, for example Tony was like her father who always has her back until something bad happens and he goes protective, Bruce was like a weird uncle who always had her back, Clint was her brother plain and simple, gosh even Fury was like an overprotective father figure to her but Steve, well Steve was like, god he was just Steve. She wished she could just open her eyes or move her body but it was all darkness.

 _'_ _I can't deal with this'_

Clint? Gosh how Nat hoped he was okay, she remembered all the times she would sit at his bed side and worry about him coming out in one piece. At that moment she realised how difficult it must be for him see her as she was, whatever had happened must have been bad to wind her up in what she thought was a hospital.

 _'_ _Im fed up of this'_

Fed up? Of what? Tony seemed angry, oh god what had she done? She new that waking up was gonna pose questions, ever since joining The Avengers she has never once been in hospital, maybe a couple of cuts that has wounded her up in medical but nothing as bad as what had happened. Nat knew it was due to the serum, the knock of super soldier serum that made her immune to illness and turned her heart as cold as ice.

Listening to the chat between Tony and Steve made her insides crawl, realising that if and when she woke up she would be interrogated about her past and her life. Seeing Anna again made heartbeat go faster than a racing car so just the thought of having to tell Tony, Steve, Bruce, Thor and even Clint how much red was on her ledger.

 _'_ _I honestly don't care what happened in your past, all that matters to me is that you come out of this well and still you.'_

Oh, Steve. How Nat wished she could just open her eyes and see his smile. It felt like years since she had seen him, his voice seemed so soothing, she could hear him speaking to a Nurse, he was always a one for being friendly to others and thats what she loved about him. The voice he was talking to sounded familiar in some way, she had mentioned how tired Steve looked and after a while the talking stopped and there was silence. She was alone again, alone with her thoughts until she heard a whisper. It was the nurses voice but in a thick Russian accent.

'Gonna have to whisper this incase lover boy wakes up but you Natalia are stronger than you look, I guess being in the Avengers hasn't slowed you down at all. Now if you survive this little drug I'm going to give you I want you to meet me at the remains of the Red Room and if you don't, well say goodbye to your lovely little team because we are out there Natalia, you thought we all died but we didn't and we want you to feel the pain of loosing friends. They will die and you will loose the only people you love in this world. Meet us if you dare'

Then voice stopped and the pain started, it was like every single inch of her body was being continuously ripped apart and put back together again to only be ripped apart again and again. It started to get hot, really hot, everything was burning. Natasha felt like she was on fire, she needed to get up, she needed to wake up, she needed to get to the red room.

 _'_ _Hey Nat, it me Steve, you really could do with waking up.'_

Steve, grab onto Steve. Natasha reached out an arm and clung onto what she hoped was Steve for dear life, she needed to get out. Why couldn't she wake up, she needed to wake up. Her body started violently shaking, she felt like a rag doll being tossed around the bed. Big arms surrounded her small form and for the first time in a very long while Natasha felt comfort, with all the pain that was swarming her outside her insides felt content. Suddenly everything went tight, her muscles started to squeeze while her lungs felt like they were getting smaller and smaller. The ability to breath, which seemed like such an easy task, was getting more difficult and the huge arms around her seemed to have gone leaving the emptiness inside her to become present again.

'See you later Natalia'

No. Everything went quiet, the throbbing pain has stopped, the voices around her had stopped and Natasha was left alone in silence.

Vivid pictures of her childhood started showing and as quick as a flash she was stood in a field, surrounded by young girls wearing red room uniforms. Mistress Red was stood at the top of the field holding a small pistol like a prize for a gameshow, the task was to eliminate everyone, the 2 children left would be sent onto the next stage in training. With adrenalin running through her veins Natalia Romanova took out the knife that was hiding in her sock and lunged at one of the young girls, all she could see was red as she slit throat after throat of the people which she's grown up with. Mind blank she ran up the hill followed closely by Anna Vankolvia.

Next she found herself surrounded by medical equipment, sweat beads rolling of her forehead like water down a hill. Natasha looked down to find a huge incision covering her lower stomach, it had be terribly stitched up and she could already see a green colour forming. Turning her attention to the tubes in her arm she noted the odd purple liquid which was being fed into her arm by a tube, this was along with 2 more tubes which Natasha had deduced to be painkillers and blood. She knew what she had done and she knew the consequences. She was the Black Widow.


	7. Is sorry enough?

**I updated! I've planned where I'm gonna go with this story but it's gonna take a while unfortunately.**

 **Also anything in italics is a thought from Nat :P**

 **Please rate and review!**

 **Thanks a lot**

 **Parker**

Light pierced Natasha's eyelids and she was forced to slowly open her eyes. The first thing she was greeted too was the strong smell of disinfectant and the blurred plain white roof tiles above her. Blinking to adjust to her surroundings Natasha became accustomed to the repetitive beeping which kept her in reality. Turning her head left and right Natasha noticed 3 figures surrounding her bed, all seemed to be asleep which Natasha was thankful for, she'd hate to be fussed over.

 _God how did this happen?_

Uncomfortable in the position she was in Nat decided to move around, despite the pain she managed to pull herself into a sitting position, the scrunching sound of the sheets moving woke up Tony.

As his eyes blinked open he saw the small figure of Natasha grimacing in pain as she sat upright on her bed, relief filled his mind and a smirk painted on his face.

'Hey there Red'

 _Oh this should be great, he looks terrible._

Shocked at the sound, Natasha looked over to see Tony Stark smirking at her. He looked awful, the frown lines on his forehead had multiplied and the bags under his eyes looked darker than the night sky.

'You look awful Tony'

'Ha honestly Red you should see yourself, you gave us quiet a scare. Didn't think you were gonna wake up for a moment'

'How long was I out? Honestly i don't even remember what happened.'

The smirk disappeared of his face, obviously this meant it was bad. Natasha tried to force herself to remember but everything was fuzzy.

'Basically you were shot and stabbed, then some nurse tried to kill you by injecting you with poison. You've been here for nearly a week.' The pain and upset of what had happened was written all over his face.

I'm sorry

'Shit'

'Yeah shit. You had us worried sick Nat! You didn't even tell us it was your birthday!'

 _Wait when was it my birthday?_

Letting out a sigh Natasha lay back onto the pillows, she twisted he forehead in annoyance trying to remember the details about what had happened. God she felt terrible for what she must have put her friends through. Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of nausea hit as she quickly turned to her side and reached for the cardboard bowl which was placed neatly on the side, the quick movement made her sides ache in frustration. Tony grimaced at the sight of Natasha throwing up, he felt guilt creeping over him for raising his voice about a sensitive subject.

'Hey, Nat I'm sorry, get yourself better and we will talk. Don't think your off the hook though! You will have the biggest birthday bash ever! Anyway Im gonna go find a doctor.'

 _Biggest birthday bash ever? Sounds like a Stark party alright_

The sound of the door shutting managed to wake Steve and Clint up, at the sight of Natasha being awake their faces lit up like a flashlight.

'Oh Nat' Steve's voice was so soft and tender.

 _I'm so sorry Steve_

'Glad you've decided to join us Nat, almost missed having you nag me ever day' Clint said with a smirk.

 _God he is a sarcastic bastard_

Before she could think of a witty comeback Tony and a tall, dark haired doctor walked in.

'Ahhh Miss Romanoff your awake! Now you've had it pretty rough since you've been here but hopefully you'll be fine in a few days, this is as long as you rest and let your friends be your waiters!'

 _My friends._

'Thank you' She smiled, grateful for him being short and quick. She couldn't deal with everyone mothering over her like she was a child again.

As the doctor left the room, Tony followed and Natasha could just about see them talking about god knows what. Tony stood, hand against the back of his head, while the Doctor opposite him seemed to be showing him a video of some sort. The concern was etched deeply over Starks pale facial features. Natasha watched intensively trying to decipher what was going on, she didn't even realise Steve was sat awake in his chair just staring at her.

'Oh Jesus, I've missed seeing that look' he said with a laugh.

'What look?'

'The 'I have no clue what's going on but I need to know' look, it's written all over you face Nat. Honestly just don't worry about Tony he's just trying to figure out what happened here'

'What happened though? I remember bits but it's I'm getting shown small screenshots in a millionth of a second.'

Steve looked at Natasha dead in the eye.

'I'm really sorry Nat. Get some sleep and we'll talk later.'

Before she could even protest her eyes were dragging shut and she was asleep in minutes.

Steve watched as Natasha feel asleep in almost an instant, she looked so peaceful but in reality he knew that she was scanning her brain for any factors that she could remember. He knew she knew a lot more than she was letting on but guessed she'd tell them in her own time. He looked over at Clint who seemed to also be curiously going over what or who could have done this and if they were going to come back.

Tony seemed to be finished with his conversation with the Doctor and slowly slipped his way in the hospital room. He held a black iPad which was currently open and was showing a black and white security tape. Tony sat down on the chair with a heavy plop and began watching the tapes again and again.

'So what's the bad news?' Clint asked restlessly.

'Bad news, well whoever this bitch is is definitely the same lady from Russia. Ermm what else, oh yeah, we have these security tapes and a sound recording but it's all practically in a old Russian code which was used years ago by spy's so yeah. Not much to go on I must admit. We just need to make sure she's okay and then we can deal with all the shit that's comes with this'

After that the 3 men sat in silence, thinking about anything but the fact that their best friend nearly died.

 _"You will loose the only people you love in the world"_

The words swirled through her mind as she went over ever option and every scenario she could think off to try and take down Anna. If she left whilst in hospital her strength and ability would be considerably lower, she'd have no chance. If she didn't go Anna would kill everyone she loved, it's not a big list but it's still enough to frighten her. The last thought she had was about telling them, she could tell her friends, risk their lives but still it would mean the problem would be over. Such an easy solution but it was such a difficult task for someone like Natasha Romanoff to ask for help. She knew that if she asked for help she would need to explain her past and her past was the thing that frightened Natasha the most.

The red on her ledger has never left and the past will always haunt her mind forever.


	8. To say or not to say?

**Hey y'all,**

 **I am british but I tried my best to use the American words for things in this chapter.**

 **Sorry it's not long but I felt like if I wrote more it would take longer to publish!**

 **Thanks again for the follows, faves and reviews.**

 **Much love**

 **Parker**

Running, nothing but running. The smell of burning catching up with her as she ran faster and faster. The blood stained onto her fingers and seeped through her clothing leaving an everlasting stain on her existence. All she seemed to be doing was running. As far away from the pain and death as possible. She had done it. She'd killed everyone, everyone from the red room was dead and it was her fault. She couldnt stop herself as the red overtook her vision. The pain never subsided. It was always there and as she opened her eyes she was surrounded by their bodies. Each of the small children's body slowly grew with age until she was surrounded by middle aged people. Bullet holes in their chests but they still got up, still taunted her, still blamed her. The cries got louder and louder, deafening her ear drums until it stopped.

Then she woke up.

Gasping for air, Natasha woke up in the hospital bed yet again however this time she was only surrounded by Steve. Steve who was staring at her features, giving off a warm smile.

'Morning Sleepy head, you okay?'

Natasha smiled at Steve's chirpy voice. His eyes were fixated on her small and delicate features, taking in her flowing red hair which was cut at uneven angles.

'Y.. yeah I'm cool.'

Great, now he'll know I'm not okay just due to the fact I used the word 'cool'.

Unsatisfied with her uneasy answer Steve pulled the concerned face yet did not say a word. He just kept staring at her, admiring every millimetre of her body until the silence started to become unbearable.

'You do know that you can talk to me about anything. I'll always listen to you Natasha, whatever you have to say.'

Inside she blushed so much she became red but if he ever knew he wouldn't forgive the things she's done.

'Thanks Steve, I just... some things are better not knowing. Would you mind getting me something actually edible pleaaaase.'

'Anything for you. Hey aha'

Natasha watched like a hawk as Steve chuckled while he walked out the room, she needed to get to the red room remains as soon as possible without anyone else knowing and being in the state she was it was gonna be difficult.

I can't let them hurt my friends, I need to make sure they don't get harmed so fuck it let's move.

Too her left she could see a gym bag full of clothes and if she knew Anna she would leave things like her plane tickets in the most obvious of places. So first was getting up.

She pulled every wire and tube out of her body like ripping off a wax strip, then hauled herself up from the pillows wincing at the small stabs of pain that ran down her sides, next she swung her legs over the side of the bed clinging onto the mattress to pull herself into a standing position.

Teeth clenched in a way so she wouldn't make any sounds she hobbled her way over to the gym bag and searched to find 1 plane ticket to Russia in the name of Natalia Romanova.

How original, use the name that leads to my past.

Also inside were jogging bottoms, a baggy t-shirt and some pants and socks. Just as she was about to get changed Steve walked in with a plate of fries and her favourite burger (cheeseburger with extra gherkins).

'So there was practically not cue but I got your favourite and...What the hell do you think your doing?!'

Shit shit fuck fuck fuck shit balls fuck

Natasha quickly hid the tickets behind her back... So much for not getting caught then.

'Nothing, nothing at all. Just... stretching my legs'

'You need go get back into bed. Right now Natasha!'

Steve shuffled towards her trying to guide her to bed but she fought him off, making the pain worse as she lifted her arms in protest

'No! No! I need to go, please I need to go!'

Steve could see it in her eyes, Natasha was desperate. For what he didn't know, but she was in a manic state and he needed to get her to calm down. He backed away waving his arms up as a sign of surrender.

'Hey hey shhhh okay, where are you going Nat?'

'Please Steve, I can't loose you.'

'I'm right here, you can't loose me Nat, what are you on about?'

I should let him know the truth but for all I know Anna could have this place bugged. I have to go even with Steve's puppy dog eyes watching my every move.

'I... I can't tell you, just please let me go.'

In a strain Nat grabbed her gym bag and attempted to shuffle out the door, as she passed Steve she whispered 'meet me in the cafe' into his ears and walked out.

In the elevator Nat searched through her bag and found a nice coat which would hopefully cover the blood which was slowly seeping through her hospital gown. Trying to look as inconspicuous as people she made her way over to an empty table at the Cafe which was situated right by the exit of the hospital.

10 minutes later Steve walked through the doors, eyes frantically searching for Natasha until he saw the wave of flowing uneven red hair sat alone at the back of the shop. In silence he sat and started to stare deeply into her emerald green eyes.

'Well, excuse my language but are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?'

Natasha's mind worked overdrive as she decided wether to tell or not to tell.


	9. A quiet Café

**So I know this is a short chapter and it's not the best but I wanted to update now because I won't be able to start writing the next chapter until June. My work has to come first unfortunately but I hope this chapter will be okay enough!**

 **Don't forget to leave a review or any suggestions for what you want to happen.**

 **Thanks.**

 **Parker.**

'Oh Steve I don't even know where to start'

She handed him the plane ticket and watched his confusion as he inspected the name and destination of the small piece of card.

'This doesn't make sense Natasha, first of all how did you even have time to buy this, second of all Natalia Romanova isn't your name and last but not least, why would you want to go back to Russia after you nearly got killed their less than a week ago?'

As Nat was about to open her mouth and ring tone from an outdated Nokia phone went off and Steve frantically searched his pockets.

'Shit, it's Tony' he whispered.

God how difficult this is gonna be to explain. I should have just left when I had the chance.

Maybe Anna was right about me going soft, I shouldn't care yet i still do... is this a curse or a cure?

'Hello Tony'

'Steve... I've just walked in to Nats room and she's gone! Where the fuck is she?!'

'Firstly, erm language. And come to the cafe, hopefully things should start to make sense'

Before Tony could go on a rant about everything Steve hung up the phone and looked at Natasha in a way to tell her to get on with it.

'May aswell wait for Tony since we can all have a 'What the hell is going on with Nat' party!' Annoyance pinged of her voice as the more time she spent explaining the situation she was in the more danger people were left in.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, admiring each others features. She could see his mind working over each little fact and figure which it could try to explain. Her heart ached for him, she knew how much he cared for her and the feeling was mutual. But Nat being Nat, she'd never perused anything to do with her heart.

'Emotions are your downfall and by showing them you risk your life. The pain and the anger you feel must replace the warmth in your heart.'

'Kill or be killed'

'When death follows you, you must embrace it. Let the anger in, let it take over'

Constantly, those words swam around her head infiltrating her thoughts. These were words she'd lived by since day one had no meaning to her now, she had love and friendship and learnt more about the world in the time she spent with the avengers than she ever did. However with these friendships came the burden of love and as she pondered over everything she didn't even notice Tony Stark come and sit right in front of her.

Shit he doesn't look happy

As he was about to open his mouth, Natasha interjected.

'Before you ramble on about how shit I'm being, just know I need to do this and whatever you say won't stop me.'

At that point Tony and Steve looked at each other in confusion.

'What is it you need to do Nat?' Steve asked, his voice practically coming out his mouth like silk.

'I've gotta go back.' She said quietly, looking at the table.

'Where?'

At this point Steve had grabbed onto her twitching hands, gently massaging her fingers together in an attempt to calm her down.

'The Red Room.'

At this point Tony and Steve were confused as hell, they didn't know much of this red room but they knew enough.

Frowning Tony said what needed to be said.

'Red, I beg of you. Start from the beginning. Just tell us what's going on and we can help you!'

Quick as a flash, Natasha replied with a burst of 'no'.

'No, no, no. I'm not loosing you guys, you cannot help. And I don't have enough time Tony. My flight leaves in 6 hours and I need to go.'

'Flight? What flight?'

Jesus we are going round in circles...

'Natasha please. Just tell me why you need to leave.'

How can I resist those puppy eyes? Oh god I can't tell you but...

Then it just poured out of her.

'I... i... my real name is Natalia Romanova. I'm a ex Russian spy who was trained and tested on since birth at a facility called the red room. After completing my training I killed everyone there and burn the place to the ground. Years later Clint finds me, I work for S.H.I.E.L.D and I end up an avenger. Happy?'

'No, not really?' Steve was riddled with confusion.

'Wait, so why are you going back?' Asked Tony.

'When we were on that mission, the person who attacked me was an ex- red room trainee. I thought I killed her but I guess not. She was pretty pissed that I was the best in class so yeah. She wants a final battle or else shit happens.' Nat decided to miss out the details on how practically everyone from the red room had survived and that they swore revenge on her and the avengers just for being affiliated with her.

'What type of shit?' Tony's voice was low, really low. She knew the low tone as 'oh crap this is bad'.

Too many questions and too little time, I need to go. Now. I can't let them die.

Natasha was getting agitated. Both Steve and Tony could see the blood seeping through her gown and the fact that she hadn't looked them in the eye since she started speaking wasn't at all a good sign too.

'Just bad shit which I can't allow to happen! Okay?!' She jumped up, a little too quickly for the matter, and grabbed her gym bag. The only thing she needed was the plane tickets, which seemed to be in the hands of Tony Stark. He noticed this and stood up himself, holding the tickets up in the air making sure they were unreachable. Something the action of a young child would do when not wanting to give back their favourite toy.

'Give me the tickets Tony' Her voice was cold and hard, Steve could see the conflicting emotions rise in her face. From his days in the 1940s he was always good at reading emotions on people's faces. He knew she was in pain, he saw that she was angry, a hint of regret maybe?

'No tickets until I get answers and if I'm honest no tickets at all. Nat you could die. Jeez you probably will die unless you talk to us. We are a team. A Team! Yano the ones with no I in? So stop dicking around Natasha or Natalia or whatever I'm meant to call you! Your one of my best friends and I refuse to loose you. Okay?' Natasha looked him dead in the eyes. Reading his face, admiring the well cut edges of his beard. She noticed that his eyes were going red, either he was having an allergic reaction to peanuts or he was crying. Damn how she hoped and prayed for the peanuts.

Through all this time Steve hadn't got up from his seat, he just sat there, hand on his head trying to process the information that was given to him. Every cell in his body ached with confusion and fear, fear for Nat's safety and fear that this would end up well for himself either.

Natasha had no other option but to tell them. Exhaustion taking a toll on her she sat in silence opposite Steve. She knew they wouldn't let her leave but she couldn't let them die. A part of her brain was screaming at her, telling her that they were the goddamn avengers and that they could look after themselves. Another part told her the facts, things such as the fact that she didn't know how many from the red room were alive, they could be listening, they could be literally anywhere, watching her every move and listening to her every word.

They could be listening to me right now. Think Natasha Think!

Then a lightbulb went off in her brain. Reaching into her bag she pulled out a pen and frantically scribbled words onto a napkin, then she scrunched it up seeming like she was finished with it.

'No Tony, I'm leaving whatever you say'

She went up to him and hugged him, not only enjoying the contact but whispering in his ears the exact words 'I'm gonna go get my stitches changed and when I get back down I need a taxi and a jet. Send it someone quiet. Ill explain the rest later.'

The instructions were clear she hoped but if not she slipped the napkin into his hands whilst initiating the hug.

Then she looked at Steve, his puppy dog eyes were so hard to look at, in fact his whole facial expression was difficult to look at. Not even caring about her reputation she kissed him. Though it was brief and not very passionate they both knew what it meant to each other.

'Im sorry' Her warm breath on his ear made him shudder. She left both Avengers looking dazed and confused praying to god that they both understood what they needed to do. Walking back to the lift thought swirled her brain, most of them mainly about Steve. She knew how confused he was and god knows how upset he must be, Nat just hoped that after all she puts him through, she will have a chance to repay him.

'Come on lover boy, we've got work to do'


	10. Memories

**Im back from the dead! Sorry this took so bloody long to post but I am slowly getting on top of things now. Please leave some reviews, it always makes me more productive!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Parker**

'What's going on?' Steve asked probably for the hundredth time in the past few hours. From his flushed cheeks and gobsmacked look Tony could practically deduce that he wasn't momentarily prepared for a kiss from anyone let alone Natasha. He smiled to himself. About 5 months ago himself, Clint and Banner had a bet on if and when Nat and Steve would 'get together' and from this he just won 30 bucks.

'Well first of all you've just won me a bet! And second of all we have work to do.' Tony thrust the napkin into Steve's hand and ushered him out of the cafeteria knowing he had little time to get everything done for Natasha and a dazed Steve wasn't going to help.

Steve stopped dead in his tracks and looked down at the napkin, written in sleek, cursive writing were the words 'brb too many ears. Taxi, Jet and then a plan.' He followed the writing with his finger still not understanding what was going on.

'What does brb mean?'

Tony laughed to himself, attempting to shove the super soldier from the spot he'd taken too.

'Oh God, i'll tell you later. Come on old man'

 _'_ _Hiya! What's your name?'_

 _Startled from her shivering position in the corner, a 6 year old Natalia looked up at the small blonde girl in front of her._

 _'_ _N..N...Natalia'_

 _'_ _Hi Natalia, I'm Anna'_

 _The child held out her hand. Curious thought Natalia, in her short time being in the red room after being kidnapped, no one had shown her any type of friendliness. For the 5 days she been there she had shivered in the corner of an empty room. Natalia took the hand of the child, who pulled her up and initiated a hug._

 _'_ _You've got nothing to worry about now Natalia, I'll be your best friend, if you'll be mine of course!'_

 _A sparkle shined in Natalia's emerald eyes._

 _'_ _I'd love too'_

 _PING_

The sound of the lift stopping to a hault of the floor she needed to get to broke Natasha out of her mind. She trailed down the corridor looking for her doctor, if worst came to worst she would just have to stitch herself up, it was an easy task and had been done before but the pain seems more tolerable when someone else does it for you.

At the sight of blood, the nurses came swooping down on her insisting IVs and bed rest.

'No, just stitch me up. I want to leave'

'Please ma'am, you won't heal properly and...'

'Did you fucking hear me? I don't want none of it! All I need is for you to do your job and goddamn stitch me up! Is that so hard?!'

Agitation took over Natasha's senses before she realised that from raising her voice she had upset the nurse standing in-front of her.

Before she could apologise she was being walked over to a room and the same nurse was getting the antiseptic ready. The process seemed to last for years and Natasha was left with her thoughts again.

' _Come on girls! Faster! Move your arse Anna!'_

 _Natalia could see Anna struggling to assemble her gun, damn she shouldn't care but she did. While assembling her 4th rifle she whispered over to Anna._

 _'_ _Look at how I do it.'_

 _Slowing down the process so the 9 year old could focus on how to assemble better._

 _After this she raced on to shoot the targets in front of her. Being the best in class she finished the exercise first with time left to spare, Anna was a close second now._

 _'_ _How did I do headmistress?' Natalia looked up at the older woman, hope and admiration in her eyes. She wanted to do well, she wanted to be the best._

 _'_ _Exemplary my dear. Your looking to be a prime candidate for phase 2.' With a pat on the head Natalia was sent off to her room, skipping down the hallway with delight._

 _'_ _Natalia! What happened!' Anna squealed with delight._

 _'_ _Headmistress said i might get to phase 2! Imagine Anna! We could be working together how cool would that be!'_

 _'_ _Wow amazing! I can't wait to grow up and work together!'_

'And there you go Miss Romanoff. All stitched up like you asked for' the bitter sound of the nurses tone grated the syllables that left her mouth. It wasn't the first time, and probably wont be the last, she has left hospital with most of the staff celebrating he departure. Through the years she has found herself to be someone who's not approachable, unkind and certainly unforgiving and from these manner and traits she has people dislike her and push her away. And that realisation hit her like a brick. Being disliked for being different, and yes Natasha always acknowledged that her crusty exterior can be difficult do break but if some people had the guts to do so maybe she would be able to communicate better. And that is exactly what the avengers did. And she pushed them away.

'Thank you, and… well I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that. You've done a good job ma'am.' While only short, Natasha believed the apology was good enough, mainly because she never apologises to anyone, ever.

'Miss Romanoff, its okay. Its not unusual for us nurses to get patients who are, well you know… 'pissed off'. I cant advise you to leave but considering the fact that you have tried once, you will probably try again.'

'Yeah you are right about that. Thank you again…' Nat chuckled, pushing herself off the bed. The short burst of pain in her abdomen were mainly tolerable as she walked down the crowded corridor of the hospital, everything around her seemed to be blurry for at these moments all she could hear were her thoughts. With robotic actions she made her way to the lift pressing the button to ensure her arrival on the ground floor.

' _Natalia! Help!'_

 _'_ _Anna!' Natasha shouted as she shot down 2 more classmates which were advancing on her best friend._

 _Phase 1 was easy. Assemble guns, learn the basic fighting styles and dance. It was innocent times where students would disappear and everyone would think they were going home._

 _Phase 2 was more challenging. The schedule got more busier with fighting styles and practise runs and they were moved with older students. The mixture of 12 year olds like Natasha with 14 year olds was intimidating at the least._

 _Their last task of phase 2 had been to kill everyone, the last ones standing win and go to phase 3. The plan was attack the more advanced students, take them out and leave the easy ones till last but it wasn't until Anna started fucking up that she needed to intervene. She didn't even deserve it, ever since she started the program Anna had slacked but got through by the help of Natasha. Running towards Anna, she shot 2 more students, head shot through and through. Reaching Anna, Natasha managed to take down more and more students while Anna just sat there, literally doing nothing. Then she realised, what headmistress had been saying all along, if she wanted to succeed she needed to cut her ties._

 _And Natasha wanted to be the best._

 _'_ _I'm sorry' she whispered, attempting to leave their small hide out behind a mound of bricks._

 _'_ _Natalia, what are you doing?'_

 _'_ _Cutting my ties'_

It was a moment Natasha wouldn't forget. She left her best friend to fend for herself, and until now she didn't actually realise she was still alive. The guilt never subsided but it got easier to live with as the years went on and slowly but surely she started to forget the terrible au deals that led to her becoming an avenger.

Her mind was clouded over by a red fog as she exited the lift, making a direct b line to the drop off zones which were outside.

Surely enough, there was an unmarked black Mercedes with a taxi sign on top that she recognised to be Tony's outside. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, she walked in from of the car, flagging it down as if it were a taxi. She didn't know who was watching, who was listening and she wasn't taking a risk at the very first hurdle. Climbing inside, she was greeted by Tony and Steve, their faces were illuminated by the blue LEDs that ran through the interior of the car. As the car began to move Natasha managed to study Tony's face, his usually smug facial expressions were clouded by looks of fear and worry. Before Natasha even had a chance to speak, he opened his mouth.

'We did as you asked, you have a taxi, you have a jet. Now explain this shit Natasha. Please'

'Wow Stark, please is a word I don't think I've ever heard you say.' Chuckled Nat.

His eyes glared at her and she instantly knew he was serious. As for Steve, he hadn't spoken to her at all, he just stared at her with a blank expression and god was it unnerving.

As she began to explain the inns and outs of who Anna was, why Anna was after her and why she was leaving, it suddenly dawned on Natasha that she had friends. Real friends who cared for her, who wanted her safe. Not people who were prepared to kill her at any slight inconvenience.

'So you got yourself stitched up and ordered us around because of this. Damn Widow your past must have been real shitty to piss off a whole load of people.' Tony added.

'Well stark, I was good and at the time I knew what I had to do. So yeah, people are pretty pissed off. Oh and yeah that jet isn't for me it's for you.'

'What?' Simultaneously came the replies from both Steve and Tony. Natasha recollected it being the first time in over 30 minutes that Steve had said a word, apart from hums and nods that's all she got.

'The jet is so you can go to the red room after me, if she knows I'm not traveling by a private plane she will notice somethings off, then that risks you two and everyone else I know. Aaaaaand knowing the bitch, travelling arrangements will be settled as soon as I leave the airport.' While Natasha's voice undoubtedly spoke with a feeling of boredom and un satisfaction there was an underlying tone that only Steve could pin down to nerves.

The rest of the car journey was quiet. At occasional moments Steve would glance over to Natasha who was staring out of the window. He always wondered what she was thinking when she zoned out when travelling to missions. Using his non existent powers of deductions, he would study her face and notice her expression to figure out if her daydreaming was good or bad. At this moment in time, her face was a mixture of remorse and confusion. How he wished he could read her mind.

 _Small fires were raging in patches over the field. The looming smoke mocked her eyesight, forcing her to squint to find her way back to the remains of the broken complex where she had spent many years of her life hiding in. Bodies were littered everywhere causing her to stumble more than a few times which as a result aggravated her ankle which she believed she twisted when landing awkwardly after jumping round someones neck to take them down. The small cuts on her body throbbed but she moved with the pain feeling great relief that the whole situation was over and she won. She had won. It hadn't really sunk in yet but the happiness of not being killed washed over her making her feel absolutely ecstatic. From a distance Natalia could see the shadow of the headmistress, as the shadow loomed closer a feeling of fear loomed upon her._

 _'_ _Well, Natalia. I knew you could do it, I actually put high bets on you to win.' The headmistress held out her hand. 'Come child, we shall get prepared for phase 3.'_

 _Natalia took her hand and was led into the fog. The bodies in the distances not bothering her anymore._

'Nat?'

Tony's voice cut through her daydreaming as she blinked a couple of times to get her bearings. 'Hmm?'

'Nat, we are at the airport. You sure you want to do this?'

'Yeah of course. I need to do this. Will you guys be okay?' She looked at both of them, worry present on her smooth features.

A small smirk rose on Tonys lips.

'Of course, we will be fine Red, might take a bit of persuasion to get lover boy here to talk or even move a muscle but don't worry we got your back. And here take this you might need it.'

Tony passed her a bright red burner phone, again with a smile pressed onto his face.

'Thanks Tony, I guess ill see you soon. Bye Steve.' Natasha's eyes were fixated on Steve, practically begging him to say something to her so she could devise wether he hated her or not.

As she was about to leave Steves hand grabbed her own and he places a chaste kiss upon her palm.

'Be careful Nat.'

'I will, I will.'


	11. Flying

**I've risen from the dead again...**

 **this is probs a shit chapter so please excuse the mistakes. I want to get this story finished but I want to keep the quality but it's very hard.**

 **Thanks**

 **Parker**

With the plane ride being bumpier than expected, Natasha managed to only get a couple of hours sleep, her mind was plagued with images of The Avengers becoming hurt and the fact that her friends were in danger because of her made her feel very uneasy. She needed to figure out what she was going to do when she got to Russia. How was she going to stop Anna? Would she survive? What would happen to everyone if Anna won? Were more red room trainees really alive? Out of all of this one thing crossed her mind. She needed a plan.

'Where are they?' Steve said with an exasperated sigh. His obsessive forehead rubbing had become a constant occurrence over the past 30 minutes. Tony was surprised his skin hadn't rubbed off.

'Chillax capsicle, they'll get here when they get here. Thor, Bruce and Clint had an ETA of 2 hours an hour ago.' Tonys calm demeanour settled Steve however little did Steve know that in his mind, Tony was stressing and worrying about everything that could happen to their little red. They had a good relationship and deep down he really cared for her (not that he would let anyone know that).

Both men sat in silence, different things wondering through their brains. There was a long hour ahead of them and the one thing they both needed desperately was something they didn't have. They needed a plan.

The minutes seemed to go on for hours and both of the hero's didn't feel like small talk. Tony had been fidgeting with his technology, trying to design obscure upgrades for his suite, all of which done to alleviate some of the stress which was bubbling up inside him.

Steve on the other hand was slowly sorting through his mind, trying to figure out the exact moment he fell for Natasha. The first time they officially met, she was in that leather jacket, looking so formal as they stood on top of what Steve thought was a huge floating-helicopter-type-contraption, if he was honest they barely noticed each others existence until the battle when she wanted a boost and he saw something. Something so mischievous and child like glistening in her eyes when put in the face of unknown danger. Then when they teamed up right before the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D and she got shot. At this moment in time he feels like an idiot. She got shot. And all he could do was focus on Bucky. But from all of that, they stuck close, they both revealed things to each other which were so personal. He believes that's when they blossomed, that level of care was always there since those moments, underlying their different adventures with a blanket of care. He really loved Natasha. And god damn was he going to try and ensure she's safe until the day he dies.

The jolt of turbulence awoke Natasha from her small nap. The next hour or so getting of the plane was spent in silence for her, in the back of her mind was the dull throb coming from her stomach but she dared to look down knowing the pain wasn't a good sign. She had discretely messaged Tony an encrypted message which she prayed he would crack. Walking out of the airport she saw a man (maybe in his late 40s she judged) in a black suite holding up a sign saying 'Natalia Romanova' in Russian cursive. Internally she cringed at the overload of negative memories, the name and the Russian text was just a lot for her to step into. It reminded her it was really happening. As she walked over to the man her whole mind was clouded over with

'Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck'. She somewhat attempted to cover her feelings with her hardened demeanour, attempting to act as calm as possible as he spoke to her in a thick Russian accent in which she hasn't heard in years. As they spoke they entered a black limo, being drove by an undistinguished individual who was hiding behind a black plastic cover which separated the driver from the passengers. Her senses were practically tingling.

'Miss Romanova, glad to see you joined us. Good choice. I'll be driving you to your destination today.'

'And where would that destination be?'

'Ah well I'm sure you guessed it already, mother will be so exited to see you.'

'Mother?'

Just as if on cue, the plastic casing opening only to reveal her old headmistress. Her features had grown slack with age but she could always distinguish that eyebrow scar.

'Hello Natalia.'

Before she could react she felt something sharp in her neck.

Everything span.

Then it all turned black.


	12. 27

Oh hi... ngl I was so traumatised after endgame I couldn't bear to look at anything black widow related but I realised I wanted to do this story justice so I wrote this longish para over the span of like 3 months... yep another filler paragraph where nothing really happens but it'll get there again I promise!

Enjoy!

Parker

-

The fire burnt surrounded her, encompassing her in a never ending state of panic as it crawled closer and closer. The smouldering black was crawling into her nose, infecting her lungs making it harder and harder to breathe. In the panic she kept spinning and spinning, looking for an exit, searching for way to get out however all she saw were flashes of red, but not red like fire, hair colour red. Was that her? Was that a child? Was it her as a child? The smoke kept creeping, crawling through her skin, burning her lungs but leaving nothing but red. Red. Insufferable amounts of smoke were rising now, as she crept closer to the floor she saw it again. The flashes seemed to be running around, almost circling her, closing in bit by bit. She felt the smoke, the fire coursing through her veins, burning her essence away, her soul, her conscience until finally her body was a pile of ash blowing in the smoke. The unforgiving smoke.

As Natasha woke the first thing she registered was the smell. It was something so familiar yet so unnerving that it made her want to throw up right then and there. While still not opening her eyes she attempted to feign sleep and feel her surroundings. Just from the sense of touch she could tell that her arms were behind her back and wrapped with what she thinks was barbed wire due to the small stabbing pains she was feeling at the slightest movement of her hands. The same could be said about her ankles too. From what she could hear, there was no movement in the room she was in, no breathing except for her own so she could deduce that she was alone. Opening her eyes left her with little to work with, with no windows and just some light peeking through the door Natasha was left to sit in darkness waiting for her eyes to adjust to her surroundings. The grogginess of the drug which she was injected with still lagging on her brain making her decision making slow leaving her with no plan and no escape route. Just her and her mind and the smell of burning and blood.

As she sat their contemplating her plans a smooth Russian voice rang through the room, desolating her every fear and cell.

'Hello Natalia.'

….

'What do you mean she's gone off the grid?'

Being on a jet with 3 other sleeping avengers made it difficult for Steve to raise his voice, how he wished he was joining them in the land of sleep but the anxiety which wracked his brain was making him restless.

'What I mean spangled pants, is that the tracker we hid in reds bag has gone somewhere that is being intercepted by another server and I cant exactly track it can I?'

Whilst saying his snarky remarks Steve could feel eat worry which was evidently rolling off his voice making his thinking unclear.

'You hid a tracker in Nat's bag? What if someone finds it? How could you be so careless Tony?'

'Relax cap it's one I've been working on, something so small not even you could see it.' A smirk rolled of his features, like a child proud of a drawing he'd made. However the smirk lasted no longer than a minute. 'Butttt' he dragged out whilst rubbing his chin. 'Im worried now, it takes a lot to take out stark technology so I'm concerned that not only does this place were Natasha is have that technology, but the fact that Nat is lost in the middle of it.'

The reality of his seriousness sank in through the silence of the plane, only the constant humming of the engines in the back of their thoughts.

'Come on Tony. Your Iron Man! The smartest person I know so come on! Think of something!'

The desperation was leaking of Steves eyes, and at the moment when Tony looked at Steve he realised how much Steve cared for Natasha. At a closer he definitely looked terrible. The cream leather seats off the jet outlined the pale parlour of his skin, bringing out the dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week. Or washed. His once sandy golden hair was ruffled and missing its once ever present shine. It was obvious how much he was thinking about Natasha, it was obvious how much he just loved her.

He couldn't just let Steve down. Not when they were so close to keeping her safe. Not now. Tony wracked his brain. What could he do? What could he do? Think, think think! After what seemed like eternity a lightbulb set off in his mind.

'If I track the last location which the tracker was in a use that to ping it off the place where a new signal would be intercepted we could find the location and scope afterwards!'

With the speed this came out of his mouth and the words used Steve looked dumb founded but it was overshadowed with a spark of hope that hit his eyes.

'So just to check? You can do it?'

'Lets go get your girl lover boy.'

…..

'Hello Natalia.'

'Headmistress?'

The headmistress' hair had gone grey at its roots however it still maintained its red dye at its end, and her face had aged significantly however her features were the same, same old eyebrow scar, same old red lipstick. The sight just bought back so many different memories, it was quite overwhelming, especially since she would have thought the headmistress to be dead by now, especially since she assumed the headmistress to be dead. The funniest thing that stuck in her head was how much the headmistress reminded her of that red haired character from the prison tv show she watched on Tony's Netflix. What was it called again? Orange is black or something like that, she really liked that show and now all she could think about was the fact that she wanted to home to the avengers tower and snuggle up with Steve and a shit Netflix series.

'Natalia, your manners are disappointing me, I thought I taught you better?'

'Well, I guess I've had time to grow and mature on my own. I must say though after all these years… you still look old.' She knew the snarky comment was worthy of a slap so did nothing but flinch when the long red fingernails grazed her cheek, which she assumed was leaving some lovely red marks. Keeping calm and cool was the one thing Natasha one she had to do, not only to keep herself sane but to ensure that the headmistress felt uncomfortable as possible. It was a simple strategy, one which she didn't think would work but was her only plan at the moment as her mind was still foggy from the drug shed been injected with.

'Oh Natalia, I do wish you would respect you elders, it has been so many years since we've seen each other, don't you have a nice thing to say about me?'

'Let me see.. hmmm… no, I don't think I do.'

Natasha braced herself for another slap but to her surprise, the headmistress only stood there smiling.

'Lets cut to the chase my sweet Natalia, I want you to know why you're here, you see you didn't destroy the red room like you thought you did, there were survivors… what id call your brothers and sisters if I knew you wouldn't object. Take a walk with me?.'

'About that?' Natasha comically looked at her barbed wire bindings.

'Ahh yes, Alexi!' She called.

Just then a rather large, familiar looking, man walked in the room with what Natasha suspected to be as wire cutters, his beard was unkempt as was his grey hair but Natasha knew that face. He cut the wire, letting the pain fall off Nat's wrists in an instant but he didn't leave, just stood by the headmistress with a foreboding look on his face.

'Don't you remember him Natalia? Alexi was the one who trained you all those years ago, oh how I am surprised you forgot about this. Please follow, he's only here for protection should you attempt to run away or try kill us all again.'

Once again the monotone voice was internally freaking Natasha out but she did her best to hide it, following her with a gentle step to try and shadow the fact that she was limping due to the fact that small parts of the barbed wire were still embedded in her ankle. As she walked the grey, dark dingy corridoors her thoughts were swimming round her head. So many questions however one stood out in the darks of her mind.

'How many?'

'Speak up Natalia, mumbling doesn't suite you.'

'How. Many. Survived?'

'Oh about 27. Considering the other 100s you killed I can say that you got off likely.'

Natasha's heart stopped, 27 still alive. 27 ready to kill her at any given moment and why shouldn't they. 27.


	13. Burn

**Hey another upload! I'm on this story now! I'd say there's about 1 more chapter left and an epilogue so I'm pretty pleased to wrap this up!**

 **Hope your enjoying this!**

 **Parker**

'Oh yess found her! She's somewhere underground, like a base, its huge! And according to recordsss…' He said dragging out the S while checking a screen. Tony's relief was short lived as while reading his face turned slack, the small smile disappearing as he read on and on.

'What? What is it?' Steve's heart rate began to increase steadily.

'According to this, it used to be an underground base used by what was known as the Red Room, it was burnt down in 1947 which doesn't make sense, if it was burned down then how could Nat have gotten trained there? She can't be that old, it doesn't make sense.'

Steve wracked his brain and they sat in silence. Natasha couldn't be that old it just didn't make sense however there were many things that just didn't make sense about Nat and her really weird past. Before he could even delve into that long string of thought they landed, creating a big enough jolt on the jet to wake tip the 3 other sleeping avengers.

'Guess we better get moving, suite up.'

….

'We've been looking long and hard for you Natalia, you were so far off the grid we couldn't even trace your steps and I must admit I was proud of you, working for the side you were bought into but then you moved to S.H.I.E.L.D and what happened? You became an avenger! All while we were brewing up a lovely plan to just find you and get you back, you became one of the most high profile people in the world! This was just waiting to happen….'

As Natasha walked along her anxiety grew, even though she was listening to the headmistresses words she couldn't help thinking about how familiar this walk was almost as if she was going to the…

Her heart stopped, PTSD from the last time she was there kicked in and she could practically hear her heartbeat in her ears. The medical room, the room where everything shitty and horrible happened in her life. Where she was sterilised, where she was injected with a drug that would change her life, where she practically had no control over anything.

The headmistress noticed this change, inwardly smiled to herself but carried on speaking.

'So we ensured that we set up one of our old bases, just something big enough to alert the avengers, obviously we didn't plan the fact that all your little friends would be there but yeah, we set up a easy bate for you and poof, we have you here right now, now Alexi if you wouldn't mind.' As if set up on cue, Alexi restrained Nat with a knife to the neck and wrapped his large hands around her wrists before she could even blink. He practically dragged Nat into the medical room and strapped her onto the steel table, wrists first then the ankles, the constant routine she remembers through all those years. Around her, large needles and surgical instruments littered the room whilst the red stained tiling which she formally thought was white was digging into her brain.

'What do you want from me?' Choked out Nat who was beginning to struggle with her leather restraints wrapped around her wrists realising that in the haste they were put on their highness was lacking and they were escapable, it would be painful but escapable. However, she needed a plan first. She saw the table of steel instruments, many of which were what she remembered to be as torture devices, she definitely remember the fingernail pullers, however one thing that stood out to Natasha's eye was the large needle containing a bright green liquid.

Oh god, that's not good.

In someways it reminded of the hulk. Again, not, good.

Just one disgusted glance towards the headmistress and she could tell she was going to start monologuing.

'See Natalia when you encountered Anna we were watching, while your technique impeccable you seemed to be stumped by her new feature, you see when you left Anna to die in the fire, she got burned pretty badly but we managed to save her and in the process she became out new test subject. Before you nearly ruined everything we were developing a serum to make an individuals skin practically indestructible, for years and years your little Anna was the subject to test after test until something brilliant happened to one of your friends. His gamma radiation poisoning made his skin practically impenetrable but he had that unfortunate green side effect. Now you might not have known this but his blood was collected and obtained by a university scientist when Hydra, which you would have known as S.H.I.E.L.D, had a large amount of the blood. After a couple of years we managed to obtain the impenetrable factor and factor it into a serum which as a result made your little friend Anna practically impenetrable. We wanted you here to try it, once we are sure it works we'll bring out your little brainwashing book, you'll forget your little avengers and we'll make you one of outs for the final time. Now we would like to start as soon as possible but Anna has been dying to chat with you.' Again, as it like on a staged performance Anna appeared in the door way looking unreadable. Her fact perked up when Natasha noticed the knife being thrown around between her hands.

Natasha was internally shaking, she knew she shouldn't have come here, she could have ran away, got a new alias but again the thought of leaving her friends was one she couldn't live with. Damn her connections.

'Hey bestie!.' Anna practically shouted in a mock cheery American accent. 'You know what's hard? Watching someone who constantly was better than you as a child succeed and become an avenger!. But I must say, seeing you in that hospital bed while you practically died was pretty fantastic. I cant wait…' She slashed her on the arm. 'To see...' She slashed her on the other arm. 'What happens!' Her smile was practically menacing as she walked to the edge of the room.

Natasha needed a window to escape, something big. She has her plan, dislocate her thumbs, grab the knife slip her feet out and quick as a flash shed be free. She felt like she had enough energy to try and fight her way out but if not, well, she'd die trying, it was better than being subjected to whatever was in store for her.

'Nothing to say Natalia? Well I guess we must get sta….'

The headmistress was cut off by a large siren going off through the facility. The comms unit light in the medical room turned red and a deep, clear voice saying 'Headmistress, Avengers are breaching the facility.' The headmistress' distress was clear as she approached the comms and said 'prepare the troops send them to the disable the so called Avengers, i'll meet you in the west room.' Clicking off the comms she turned to Natasha and grabbed the needle, face red with evident anger.

'Whats the matter? Cat got your tounge headmistress?' Natasha was practically delighted, smiling the most devious smile she could.

'We told you not to bring them, our threat was true Natalia. You'll watch them die painful deaths and it will all be your fault. Now unfortunately me and Anna have to go deal with the troops, Alexi here will look after you but we'll be back. Don't you worry.' While she didn't inject Natasha she kept the needle close to her, with a last soulless stare into Nat's eyes she left, Anna trailing behind her.

This is it, this her chance. Waiting to ensure that they were both a distance away were they couldn't hear the commotion that was about to start, Nat dislocated her thumbs, grabbed the knife, slashed off her restraints and before he could even notice, Alexi had a knife to the head. Natasha's heart was racing and she felt kind of dizzy, Nat placed her thumbs back in place, grabbed as many weapons she could find and headed the way which she heard the commotion. Her chance to finish things was now and she wasn't going to let that chance get away from her.

…..

The emptiness of the grey dark halls was unnerving as she stalked the walls of the corridors in search for her teammates, pain sparked in het ankles and hands but she reverted to her training, blocking out the pain, making herself feel numb as to ensure she finished the task which she set out to do.

When she came across the training hall which was filled with not only fighting avengers but over 50 red room soldiers her heart both stopped and filled with joy at the same time, on one hand her best friends were here to help and save her, on the other hand they were fighting off 50 people which supposedly thought were dead AND they all probably had impenetrable skin which would probably make them about 10 times harder to take down. Quietly, Natasha entered the room as to not bring attention to herself, she stalked down her prey, watching as the Headmistress stood silently in the corner twisting the needle in her hands, she looked as if she was going to leave, going back to were Natasha currently was. Inwardly Natasha knew her game was down, knew she was going to struggle to fight, with her gunshot wounds, dislocated fingers, cuts, and barbed wire marks. She was practically a dead girl walking.

She saw Steve, he was fighting for her, his eyes looked desperate and she begged they catch her, begged that he could see her before she tried to take down this horrible place. Instead she kept her mind focused and watched from the corner of her eye as he got took down. Numb it out Natasha, keep focused, you have your target.

...

Steve was scared. It was a rare occurrence on his behalf and he admitted to himself that he wasn't a fan of when his heart started racing and his sweat began to bead down his face. He was fighting, fighting super people in a desolated hall in Russia. All because of the one girl he had feelings for who could be dead at this moment in time and he wouldn't even know. But then he saw it, a glimpse of red hair, something which distracted him, gave him hope but hope was a weakness something which cost him a blow hard enough to knock him down. He couldn't focus though, eyes trying desperately to find that trace of red, that one thing that was so distinctively Natasha. The soldiers were advancing on him, knives threatening to cut into his suit yet still he was searching, looking on the ground for even the sight of her feet which he managed to catch. He saw the blood stained ankles and naked feet tip toe closer to something he couldn't see. Just the sight of her blood make his stop yet spurred him to fight more. Breaking from the attackers he fought his way through the crowds, just close enough to see the back of a red head block and counter attacks from the Nurse from the hospital.

….

Natasha knew the knife wouldn't be of much use to Anna and her impenetrable skin but if she knew head mistress she wouldn't have participated in it. Whilst she didn't want to instantly kill her, Natasha knew a knife to the stomach would be a painful and slow way to die, just what she deserved. In one smooth throw the Headmistress was on the ground with a knife in her stomach, Anna turned around in shock and anger and immediately began fighting, again, Anna had the advantage, she was quicker and smarter and had bloody impenetrable skin. Punch after kick was blocked but Nat was struggling to get the chance to attack herself. This seemed to go on for ages, hair was pulled, faces were punched and Natasha managed to get many kicks to Annas ankle making her kicks come slower and slower. She seemed to be doing alright, well, this was until Anna pulled a wire out of her suite and managed to wrap it round her neck. To anyone else this may seem like possibly the worst thing to try and do but to Natasha this was a blessing. She knew she needed that exact weapon, so if she could ply it from Anna she could use it as her own. The tightness around her neck was increasing but she persevered, kicking Anna in the ankle causing the tightness to slack and from this she jumped up, putting her thighs between Annas head and wrapped the wire tightly round Anna's neck. The commotion around her roared but she blocked it out focusing on the words she was going to say, 'I always looked after you, for years and years I made sure you didn't end up dead. I was always better than you, and I still am.' The tension from the wire between her hand got tighter and tighter until Anna dropped on the floor. Still, she kept the tension tight, worried that Anna would just get straight up, and as she sat on the body of her former best friend she felt a tear fall onto her cheek.

The fights were still going on around her but she couldn't move, couldn't bring herself to help, that was until she felt a stab in her arm, something small and sharp penetrated the skin, its contents being emptied into her spreading in her blood stream, to say it hurt was an understatement, she felt like she was practically burning, every inch of her blood was on fire and as she rolled onto the floor she turned to see the headmistress drop right next to her.

'You know Natasha, my one and only regret in my life was you. Everything I did, I did for you. You were going to be brilliant, fantastic even. As a product of me and the greatest soldier in the KGB, we expected grace and talent. And I never told you about your roots, about me or your father and I think that was the worst thing I did to you. I guess all there is to say is… I…Im sorry Natalia'

Natasha's throat felt like it was closing up, like she was constantly being suffocated, the burning was intensified and along with the new revelation she had no idea what to do.

'Y.. you'll… never.. be my…m…mother'

Refraining the need to thrash around her eyes darted around the room, just one look at her arm and she could see green veins creeping up her skin, she looking around for something other than fighting, something comforting. She caught the golden hair that was getting closer, whilst still being intercepted by soldiers she saw the urgency in his eyes. She tried to help but the burning kept spreading, her limbs couldn't move, her head throbbed and worse of all her vision was blurring. All she could focus on was the pain. And Steve. She could see he was getting closer, the black blobs around him crashing to the floor, decreasing in numbers until he was by her side, his soft hands stroking her hair.

'Natasha, whats wrong, what did they do?' His eyes wondering to the green veins travelling up her neck, fingers tracing them like they were a puzzle. The burning in her throat never subsided by the want and need to speak to Steve was dragging her in. Blackness enclosed her vision and she cursed the familiarity of the scene.

'G…Gamma… poison…Steve I.. I love.. you…'

And with that she welcomed darkness


End file.
